Things I Cannot Do (Death Note Edition!)
by Queen-of-Ice101
Summary: Rules can be the bane of any person's existence at times and the beloved Death Note characters are no different. Understandably frustrated by the spoil sport nature of these rules each of our favourite characters have shared with me, the great and powerful writer, the list of things they have been forbidden to do so that I may share their suffering with you. (Each list stand-alone)
1. Things Light Cannot Do

Hello fellow Death Note fans:)

So this was a idea that I came across on DeviantArt when I was looking for writing prompts. I've seen variations of this idea done for different fandoms before but never really payed any attention to it until a couple of days ago when I was tired and really just wanted to take a small break from a large writing project I'm trying to get done before February. My brain needed a small break and so rather then not doing any writing at all I decided to put together something small and fun, thus this was born:D

I have other "Things I cannot do" lists in progress for other Death Note characters, so make sure to keep an eye out for the other lists that will be added to this "story" soon! I also have various other Death Note oneshots (humour and otherwise) as well as multi-chapter stories if you are interested:D (shameless self promotion, I know XD)

Anyway, hope you all enjoy all the things that Light cannot do!

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 **Things Light Cannot Do**

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 **1.** I can no longer steal Apples

 **2.** I can no longer feed said apples to my pet Shinigami

 **3.** Even if said Shinigami will go into withdrawal without them

 **4.** I can no longer laugh evilly when writing names in death Note

 **5.** I can no longer write criminal names in the death note

 **6.** I can no longer write any names in the death note

 **7.** Even if that means that I cannot create my own utopia

 **8.** I also cannot get misa to write names in the death note for me

 **9.** Nor can I convince ryuk to kill her to make her go away

 **10.** L is a strawberry cake addict, I can't take away his cake or he will get violent

 **11.** I cannot trick, bribe or convince the task force to take away his cake either

 **12.** Especially not Matsuda, who will end up dying for it

 **13.** Supposedly he really is necessity to the team, his death would not be ideal

 **14.** I cannot take over the world

 **15.** Even though the government is doing a crap job of running the world

 **16.** I also can no longer manipulate girls

 **17.** I'm told that's unethical. Tch, they just don't understand that I am god.

 **18.** I'm not allowed to play takada and Misa, cleaning up after catfights is expensive.

 **19.** I am not allowed to trick my dad into using the death note

 **20.** Or trick him into trading for the Shinigami eyes

 **21.** Tricking Rem into killing L and Watari is forbidden

 **22.** I also cannot trick her into killing anyone else that will result in her death

 **23.** Grand soliloquies about my divine calling are forbidden

 **24.** The foolish people do not want to hear my true calling to godhood

 **25.** I cannot let Beyond Birthday out of prison

 **26.** Even if Beyond promises to kill L

 **27.** It is illegal to drug L's cake

 **28.** Even if a high L is hysterical

 **29.** And I cannot trick him into revealing his real name

 **30.** Because that's also illegal due to the methods it would take to reveal such info

 **31.** I cannot be Kira, not today or tomorrow. I am expressly forbidden to become Kira

 **32.** But that will not stop me. I WILL BE THE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD!

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So what did you think? Reviews are welcome! Flames shall be laughed at, posted for others to laugh at, and ignored as I continue the story.


	2. Things Mikami Cannot Do

Hello all!

So here is the next character list for your amusement. I've never been a fan of Mikami, but putting together his list was highly entertaining so I was able to get past that lol. Hopefully you all enjoy!

A big thanks to MafiaMarshmello and Garden of Time for reviewing the first list! I appreciate it:)

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 **Things Mikami Cannot Do**

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 **1.** I cannot delete people

 **2.** I cannot yell delete when writing in the death note

 **3.** Using the Death Note from god at all is expressly forbidden

 **4.** I also cannot call him god

 **5.** It's forbidden to entertain his god complex

 **6.** I cannot create a Kira cult for serving my new god

 **7.** Nor can I recruit others for my Kira Cult.

 **8.** I cannot create hymns for Kira

 **9.** Posting criminal names and photos for his divine justice is forbidden

 **10.** So is creating Kira Worship sites

 **11.** Selling special addition Kira merchandise is against the law

 **12.** Due to the fact that I have to sell it on the black market.

 **13.** Kira action figures are against the rules, I cannot share god's face with others

 **14.** I also can't shred death note pages so I can reveal gods Shinigami servants

 **15.** Creating Kira shrines is against the law

 **16.** Because I cannot teach others to serve what they call a "mass murderer"

 **17.** Creating a monk order for Kira is a ludicrous idea and is also forbidden

 **18.** So is sacrificing the funny looking white boy named Near

 **19.** In fact, it is forbidden to sacrifice anyone for the betterment of Kira's reign

 **20.** I cannot draw googly eyes and strange faces on the gravestone of L

 **21.** Desecrating the gravestone of the anti-Kira monster named L is forbidden

 **22.** Also, calling L a monster in front of his successors in forbidden

 **23.** Unless I wish for Nate River to test the notebook with my name

 **24.** I cannot create a universal Kira Celebration day

 **25.** I cannot be Kira's servant

 **26.** But I don't care, because I will do it anyway for my god!

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So what did you think? Reviews are welcome? Flames shall be laughed at, posted for others to laugh at, and ignored as I continue the story.


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